Written by Karen Baumgart
and it’s not for want of trying / but you see,
for the longest time / my body was all i had to say,
and she could only tell one story / in which goodness
comes from being small / and disciplined / and quiet,
and eventually / hunger wraps iron fingers around
anything that might rage / crushing it to dust.
and i am trying to be angry / but you see,
i was hungry for decades / in hidden ways that
swallowed my words / before they could catch fire,
and in ways with teeth / that devoured my soft parts,
leaving old-lady bones behind / and in desperate,
shameful ways / other women secretly admired.
and i try to rail over everything I lost / but you see,
i can’t even remember what i hungered for / before
hunger stole air from every breath / and i’m learning
to write poems that birth constellations / and demand
that my dresses have pockets / and hold sacred space
for every kind of body / but it is slow / and i am sorry.
ON BECOMING | Artwork by Eileen Kineke
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Karen Baumgart lives in Australia and adores beautiful quotes, pink things, cats, and chai lattes. She loves it when people geek out on a random thing that makes their heart sing. Karen used to be an English teacher and is quite certain that writing is the best therapy. Instagram: @miss.cake.girl. Bluesky: @cake-girl.bsky.social. Twitter / X: @cake_girl__.