BEFORE THE GROUND GETS TOO HARD -

Written by T.L. Tomljanovic

MIGRAINE TRIGGER MD | Photography by Neha Sampat

The tree is hideous. A bulbous barren nest of bark and branches. My garden-enthusiast neighbour identifies the dense mass of shoots as Witch’s Broom. The realtor recommends chopping it for “curb appeal.” The male default position—rip it out by the roots. Start again. It’s so easy for them to start over. A new car, confidence, penis pills, and a profile on Tinder.

But I don’t want to start again. Why would I? Now that I’m free. Gripping the shovel, I sink into myself, rooting down for winter, shaking off dead leaves and dead husbands before the ground gets too hard.

Migraine Trigger, MD
Black and white portrait photograph of middle-aged, South Asian woman looking into camera. Upper half of the shot frames her face. Top right of photo is darker toned, with her cascading hair, and bottom left of photo is lighter-toned with her face, neck and top of shirt. Her hair is black and wavy with grey streaks that frame her face. Her left eye is partially covered by her hair, while her right eye is fully exposed and conveys a knowing, a pleading, or maybe even a resignation. She looks utterly fed up. She sits upright, resting her head back against a cushion. Her lips are pursed into a slight frown. There is an intimacy to this photo, with the subject connecting directly with the viewer with vulnerability we usually shy away from in polite society. The subject appears too exhausted to care about politeness or masking, and her expression and posture convey a quiet, seething rage. This work is called, "Migraine Trigger, MD," and is from a series of self-photographs titled, "Portraits of Pain + Peace," capturing the artist trying to live, survive, and cope with all within their body and all outside of it. This piece was shot after returning from a medical visit in which the artist once again was gaslit, disbelieved, and dismissed, and thus made more sick by the system claiming to make them less sick.

T.L. Tomljanovic is a flash-fiction writer from Vancouver, Canada. She is a Pushcart Prize, Best Small Fictions, and Best Microfiction nominee, a founding member of the Pride Roars writing collective, and a judge for Off Topic Publishing’s monthly flash fiction and CNF contests.