Written by Kate Dusto
Move Friday happy hour to Thursday.
Heckle seniors who walk into class five minutes late.
Run out of tissues when a student gets a nosebleed. Scour the department office but find no
tissues. Send the student to the bathroom.
Tape up the poster that falls off the wall.
Listen to a sophomore say, “Like, what do you think makes Gatsby so ‘great’ anyway?” for the
294th time.
Show up late to class because of the weird assembly schedule.
Click through proctor training for standardized tests. Wonder if anyone has ever successfully
cheated by writing answers on a rubber band.
Do not pull your hair at the student who asks, “But what does the green light mean?”
Heckle seniors who walk into class ten minutes late.
BINGO!
Move happy hour to Wednesday.
Shiver your way through a track meet and wonder why people coach spring sports.
Find that one assignment your student did, in fact, turn in…last semester.
Free space: breakfast burritos at the faculty meeting.
Determine there is not a single functioning dry erase marker in the entire building.
Trudge outside when the fire alarm goes off during standardized testing.
Promise yourself you’ll grade on senior skip day. Plan a kick-ass lesson for next fall instead.
DOUBLE BINGO!
Watch the poster fall off the wall. Sigh.
Record yourself saying “A theme is not a single word,” so you can stop repeating yourself.
Move happy hour to Monday, but stop calling it happy hour. You’re just getting through the
week.
Sunburn your shoulders at a track meet and wonder why people coach spring sports.
Open the student information system to enter grades, only to learn the system is down.
Scribble illegible comments on essays. Fail to decipher your own ideas when asked by students.
Read Edward Guest’s poem “It Couldn’t Be Done” to seniors on their last day. Let them think
you think it’s cheesy, but secretly try not to cry.
Fall asleep, for a bit, with your eyes open at graduation.
Cry a little, same as every year, when the seniors toss their graduation caps.
BLACKOUT!
Welcome summer and dream about fresh dry erase markers.
.
Kate Dusto’s work has appeared in JuxtaProse, Assay, and Halfway Down the Stairs and has been named a finalist or made honorable mention for contests at Glimmer Train and Driftwood Press. She lives in Colorado, where she teaches high school English. Follow her on www.thereaderlywriter.com, Instagram (@thereaderlywriter), or Substack (thereaderlywriter.substack.com).